


The Re-return

by ModernMyth



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-06
Updated: 2012-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-11 13:26:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernMyth/pseuds/ModernMyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time around, it's Robin's turn to win Barney over. Set after Season 6.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**The Re-return**

**Part One**

Robin Scherbatsky was in love with Barney Stinson.

For some reason, she had not been expecting it at all.

They'd been down that road before. They'd fallen for each other, dated, and broken up. They'd become friends again. They had become such  _good_ friends recently, that it was a wonder she didn't see it coming. Of course she had been falling for Barney all over again. Robin had been stupid not to see otherwise. But if Robin Scherbatsky was anything, she was a master of denial. She was very effective at shoving any feelings into a tiny box until something exploded the lid off of it.

That something, she supposed, was Nora.

When she and Barney ran into her on the street, Robin had encouraged Barney to go talk to her. It was what was right for Barney, and she knew that. But she'd heard what Nora had said.

" _It's never too late."_

The lid came unhinged, and her emotions came spewing out.

The idea that it was never too late was one that she had never allowed herself to revisit. Robin didn't believe in second tries in relationships. She didn't believe in re-returns. They didn't work. They were redundant. Robin had re-returned only once in her life, and it was with Simon. And that had certainly been one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Nostalgia had led her there. Second tries were no good. She didn't believe in them. But what Nora had said to Barney struck a chord with Robin.

Yep, there was no denying it. Robin Scherbatsky was in love with Barney Stinson.

That was two days ago. Now Robin was sitting at their usual booth at MacLaren's with Lily, Marshall, and Ted, drinking a beer.

Lily took a sip of her water. "Hey Robin, do you know where Barney is?"

Robin shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I'm not his keeper."

At that moment, Barney walked into the bar. He ordered himself a scotch and slid into the booth next to Robin, throwing her an easy smile.

She took a large gulp of her beer and looked away.

"Hey, Barney," Lily greeted him. "Where have you been?"

He grinned. "I was out. With a woman. Named Nora. You may have heard of her? She's agreed to give me a second chance. We're going out again tomorrow."

Ted interrupted. "Wait, so you were just on a date with Nora? Then where is she?"

"I would assume her place," Barney responded. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"By herself?" Ted asked. "Wow. No sex yet, and there's still a second date."

Marshall spoke, "I have to say, I'm impressed. Nice work, buddy. You may just be treating this like a relationship."

Lily beamed. "Good job, Barney. Don't screw it up."

Barney rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to screw it up. I'm taking her out to a really nice dinner tomorrow. Five star restaurant, the whole shebang. And then  _she_  will get  _banged_."

Robin laughed a little too loudly, a little too nervously. "Nice one," she remarked in a shaky high-pitched voice, trying to act as though everything was normal. "Have fun, man. Congratulations, by the way. You and Nora.  _Awesome_. I mean, way to go. Top notch. You guys are gonna be  _great_  together."

She stopped nervously rambling just long enough to take a large sip of her beer and excuse herself to the bathroom.

Lily followed after her a few moments later, using her tiny bladder as an excuse.

Robin was standing with her hands on the sink, leaning into it, looking in the mirror.

"Robin?" Lily asked. "Are you alright?"

Robin let out a shaky breath, fixed her hair, and plastered a smile on her face. "Of course I am, Lily."

"Really?" Lily asked. "Because back there you seemed kind of off…"

Robin shook her head. "I think maybe I just didn't get enough sleep last night. I'm fine."

"If you say so…"

Robin's smile remained.

 

*     *     *

 

The next morning, Lily paid Robin a visit early in the morning, before they had to go to work.

"Hey, Lily," Robin greeted her, opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to catch you before work. See what's up."

"See what's up?" Robin asked. She moved into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. "Nothing's up. Just a regular old day. Seriously. Why are you here?"

"Okay, fine. I came to ask you if you're in love with Barney."

Robin choked on the sip of coffee she'd been trying to swallow. "What?"

"Are you in love with Barney?"

Robin coughed, then laughed nervously. "Um. No. Definitely...no. Totally not. That would be so funny though, wouldn't it? Me, fall in love. With someone I've already dated.  _Hilarious_. Nice joke, Lil. Really funny."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You're doing the same awkward rambling thing you did last night when you were pretending to be happy for Barney about Nora."

"What?" Robin asked, an octave higher than usual. "I don't do that."

Lily gave her a stern look.

"Fine. I may do that on occasion. But I'm definitely not in love with Barney."

"Okay, then explain the awkward rambling!"

"I just feel uncomfortable because…Nora and I work to together. Awkward, right? She's dating my friend. So that's…weird for me."

"You basically set them up," Lily said skeptically.

"Yeah…I didn't know it would weird me out?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't believe you. I still think you're in love with Barney."

Robin sighed and fixed her eyes on the floor. She took a drink of her coffee.

"Should I be taking your silence as admission?" Lily asked.

Robin bit her lip and raised her gaze to meet Lily's. She gave her a short nod.

Lily squealed. Robin rolled her eyes.

"I'm so excited!" Lily exclaimed.

"Don't be. Nothing's going to come of it. You know how badly things ended last time. You even tried to break us up yourself. I'm not going back down that road again. Barney agrees."

"Wait, you've talked to Barney about this?"

"Well not in so many words, but we did kind of talk about our failed relationship a couple days ago. We had reasons for breaking up. And they're still reasons."

"Are they, though?" Lily asked.

"I'm too dysfunctional. Nora will probably be good for him."

"Barney is dysfunctional! You're perfect for each other."

Robin shook her head. "Two crazies do not make a sane, Lil. Putting two dysfunctional people together doesn't cancel out the crazy. It just adds to it. We learned that last time."

"But you understand each other! Nora will never really  _get_  Barney like you always have. You understand him better than any of us. And Barney has done a lot of growing up since the last time you guys dated. So have you. You're different people than you were back then. Maybe your reasons  _aren't_ reasons anymore. It may have been a bad idea a couple years ago. Neither of you was really ready to commit. But what about now? Can you honestly tell me you don't want a future with Barney?"

Robin did her best to ignore the lump in her throat that had developed over the course of Lily's argument.

"I…maybe I could want a future with him," she admitted. "But that doesn't change the fact that Barney is dating Nora. He deserves to be happy."

"He could be happy with you!" Lily exclaimed. "I could put my skills to good use and break Barney and Nora up…"

"Don't go there, Lily. Not again. Leave it alone, okay? Please."

"Fine…"

"Promise me," Robin requested.

Lily sighed. "Okay, okay. I promise to leave it alone."

"Thank you."

Lily grabbed her purse. "I have to get to work. But call me if you need anything, okay?"

Robin nodded and showed her to the door.

 

*     *     *

 

Barney brought Nora to MacLaren's that night. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Robin had managed to get her nervous rambling and laughter under control and put up her usual cold exterior and fake smile. Lily seemed to be the only one who realized any different. Barney was too wrapped up in his date to really see the change in Robin.

Barney whispered something in Nora's ear, and she giggled. It wasn't long after that they headed out, presumably back to her place.

Robin seethed quietly to herself and ordered a second scotch.

The rest of the group left one by one, and she was left by herself, making her way through her fourth scotch. She was admittedly a little tipsy at this point.

"Hey!" she heard a surprised male voice say from next to her.

Robin looked up at the man. She let out a loud laugh. Of all the people to run into. It was the guy she had happened upon at Hopeless that she'd had a crush on for so long.

"Hi there," she replied. She gestured to the empty booth. "Take a seat."

"How's the fiancé?" he asked.

"Fiancé? Oh, Ted. No, we were never actually engaged. We actually broke up years ago. It's a long story."

He smiled. "So you're single?"

"That I am," Robin replied. "We've run into each other a few times now. What's your name, mystery man?"

"Matt. And yours?"

"Robin."

Matt held out his hand, and Robin shook it.

"It's nice to meet you again, Robin."

She finished the last portion of her scotch and set down her glass. "This is probably going to sound very forward of me, but it's been one of those days. My apartment is right upstairs. Would you like to come up, Matt?"

He seemed to consider the offer for a moment and then nodded. "Sure. I'd love to."

"Great."

Robin took his hand and showed him the way to her bedroom.

* * *


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

"Good morning."

Robin woke with a start. She turned over in her bed and eyed the man there with confusion.

"Not a morning person?" Matt asked.

Robin blinked. The previous night's events came back to her.

She said in a groggy voice, "Not particularly. But it would seem you are, hmm?"

He grinned. "A little bit of one, yeah. Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Robin bit back a groan. So it was going to be like that. "Um…we don't have to do the thing."

"The thing? What thing?"

"The thing…you know, the morning after thing where we pretend the night before meant something special to make us feel better about ourselves. We can just go on with our lives. Call a spade a spade, ya know?"

"Well, Robin, I'm not doing the  _thing_. I had a good time last night, and I am genuinely interested in getting to know you. We've run into each other three times now. Maybe that could mean something."

"Not everything means something."

He shrugged. "Maybe not. But I find you to be fascinating. And I would like to take you out on a date, if you're up for it. So I ask again, what are you doing tonight?"

Robin bit her lip and answered reluctantly, "Nothing. Pick me up at seven."

* * *

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Lily was shouting on the other end of the phone, and Robin rolled her eyes at the woman's dramatics.

"It's called dating, Lily."

"But why? And a guy you picked up last night? What were you thinking? I thought you were in love with Barney!"

"It doesn't matter whether or not I'm in love with him. Sex is a completely different thing."

"You two are the same person," Lily muttered just loudly enough for Robin to hear and pointedly ignore.

"Why are you so dead-set on Barney and me, anyway? You tried to break us up last time around, for crying out loud."

"I know I did, but things are different now. You guys have grown up. I just want to see you happy, sweetie."

"Well, this guy Matt seems nice, and I've had a crush on him for ages. Why not see where it goes?"

Robin could hear Lily sigh on the other end.

"Okay. But don't lead him on."

 _All I ever do is lead people on_ , she wanted to say. Instead she responded with, "Okay."

She hung up and started getting ready for her date.

* * *

The dinner was…nice. There wasn't an instant spark that kept Robin wanting more, but it had been reasonably enjoyable. It was simple. She liked that. Things had gotten so complicated lately that she really liked simple. It was a nice change of pace. A breath of fresh air.

Matt had been sweet. He pulled her chair out for her and held doors open. It was all very chivalrous of him, but all it seemed to do was annoy Robin. She could take care of herself, thank you very much. She could hold her own with a 9 millimeter. She didn't need people pulling out her chair for her all the time. Still, she appreciated the meaning behind the gesture. He was a nice guy.

They got to know each other over dinner. Turns out Matt was a banker. The details of his job bored Robin for the most part. She sipped her wine and pretended to look interested while he talked about it. She told him all about her job as a journalist and all of the jobs she'd held in recent years.

"And back when I worked at Metro New 1, my friend Barney paid me to say inappropriate things on the air…"

"Like what?"

"Um…you know, nipple instead of nickel," Robin blushed. "Things like that."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "And you did it? Why?"

Robin finished off her glass of wine. "I don't know. We had like one viewer. Even my boss didn't watch."

"Hmm," was his only response.

Robin didn't like that she felt she had to justify herself to him. And that had been the most PG of things she had said.

"But, um…I quit that job years ago. Because it was going nowhere with its lack of viewers, so it's not like I do that anymore."

Matt replied, "That Barney guy sounds like a bit of a character."

Robin choked on a bite of her pasta and forced herself to swallow. "Yeah, I guess so. He was with my friends and I when we were at Hopeless."

She felt uncomfortable talking about Barney and wished she had never brought the topic up. Robin segued the conversation back to journalism and started talking to him about her current job, brushing away any possible conversation of ex-lovers.

The rest of the date went relatively smoothly. They made casual chit-chat, exchanged little anecdotes about their friends (Robin made a point to leave out Barney in these tales), and Matt asked her for a second date.

She hesitated. Did she really want to date this guy? Sure, he was cute. He was nice. He was polite. But none of those things really made her tick. There wasn't a spark. Not like there was with a certain other individual.

 _A certain other_ unavailable _individual,_  she reminded herself.

"I'd love to."

* * *

And so they dated.

The second date was more of the same. Chit-chat over dinner, then back to her place.

They went to see a movie on the third date, and he let her pick. There was a new action flick out, thank god, and Matt pressed for details about why a girl like her wouldn't want to see a romantic comedy.

Robin rolled her eyes. "They're not my taste."

Date number four was coffee in the afternoon, and she hated to admit that she missed the aid of alcohol.

Date number five came along three weeks in, and Matt was insistent on meeting her friends. Robin had been putting it off for quite a while, but apparently avoidance was no longer a viable option.

She begrudgingly brought him to MacLaren's when they were done with dinner.

Everyone was there, including Nora, to Robin's great irritation.

"Hey guys," Robin put on a big smile. "This is Matt."

Marshall and Lily greeted him enthusiastically with handshakes. Ted had a permanent frown on his face. Apparently he hadn't gotten over his blind hatred of the guy. Barney's face remained blank and void of any emotion.

"Hi there," Matt beamed. "Robin, would you like me to get us some drinks?"

"Sure," she replied. "Um, just get me a beer."

He left the table, and all eyes turned on Robin.

Ted exploded, "You're dating  _that_  guy?"

"Oh my god, Ted, give it up already," she replied. "Yes, it's him."

"At least now I know who you've been sneaking out in the mornings," he grumbled.

Robin threw a pretzel at him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Fine, I will tolerate him."

Marshall interrupted, "Well, I think he seems nice. Good for you, Robin."

"Thanks, Marsh Madness."

"No problem, Robo-Cop."

"He is cute," Lily commented.

"He really is," Nora replied. "Where did you meet him?"

"Oh, um…" Robin began, "A sale, a few years back. And then again at a club a few months ago. And then a third time here at MacLaren's three weeks ago."

"That's quite a few run-ins! Maybe fate laid a hand," said Nora.

Robin did her best to repress giving her a scathing look.

"Um, I don't think so. I don't really believe in that crap."

"How can you not?" Nora wondered allowed. "It seems to me like fate brought you guys together. Sort of like Barney and I running into each other again."

Robin eyed Barney with disbelief. She was doing a poor job of hiding her repulsion.

He gave her a helpless shrug.

Matt came back with their drinks, and Robin started eagerly on her beer.

Marshall spoke up, "Well I totally believe in fate. Nora, let me tell you the story of how Lily and I met…"

Robin tuned him out.

Barney kicked her from under the table.

She jumped a little in her seat and gave him a questioning look.

He smiled. Robin suspected it was his way of trying to cheer her up.

She couldn't help the way her lips curved upwards slightly.

Barney tapped her foot with his again, and Robin's gaze narrowed.

He had somehow taken his shoe off underneath the table and was now slowly sliding his foot up and down Robin's exposed leg.

Robin tried to suppress a shiver. His foot was moving higher, and she had to focus hard on swallowing her drink.

Barney was about to reach dangerous territories when he removed his foot with grin and slid it back into his shoe.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief and maybe a little disappointment.

She made sure Nora was looking away and mouthed at Barney, "Tease."

He winked.

Robin decided then and there that Barney Stinson was going to be the death of her.

She sighed. Robin had felt more in that one minute silent exchange with Barney than she had with Matt in three weeks.

Everyone decided it was time to head home an hour later, and Robin could tell Matt was fishing for an invitation upstairs. She feigned a headache and sent him home, trying not to feel too bad about it.

She spent most of her night in bed laying awake, trying to figure out what the hell to do.

* * *

Robin decided to drop by Lily's place after two days of carefully avoiding contact with Matt, in need of advice.

"You never should have dated him to begin with," Lily told her.

"I just wanted to see where it was going!"

"Well now you have seen. And what you've seen is that it's going nowhere."

"I know…I just, I liked that it was so simple, you know? Things with Barney have always been so complicated. I just wanted something that was easy."

Lily smiled sadly. "I know, sweetie. But it wasn't right. It was just another way for you to avoid your feelings for Barney."

"Yeah, but it's so much easier avoiding them!"

"Staying in the relationship isn't fair to Matt if it doesn't have a future."

Robin heaved a sigh. "I know. It's the story of my life. I should teach a class on leading guys on."

Lily frowned. "But you don't do it on purpose."

"That's true. I don't. It just comes naturally. But you're right. I need to end things with Matt, don't I?"

"It's for the best," Lily replied. "You can't move forward with him if you're in love with Barney. And were you really that compatible to begin with?"

Robin shook her head. "Not really. The sex was good," she admitted.

Lily's eyes lit up. "How good? Barney good? Because what you told me about how he was in bed when you were drunk that one time sounded kind of incredible…"

Robin put her face in her hands. "Why do I tell you things?" she muttered.

"Because I'm your best friend!" Lily grinned, hugged her, and offered her a martini.

* * *

Robin met Matt that night at MacLaren's for drinks and broke the news to him. He was understanding enough. He told her to call him if she ever changed her mind, and he left after a little awkward conversation.

She ordered herself a scotch and sat in silence for a while. Robin was getting ready to stand up and leave when she saw Barney walk in the door. He noticed her and grinned.

"Hey, Scherbatsky."

It felt like the first time he had said her name in weeks.

Barney gestured to her empty glass. "You want me to get you another?"

"Sure," she replied with a hint of a smile.

He ordered two scotches at the bar and returned a couple minutes later, drinks in hand.

Robin thanked him when he passed her a scotch.

Barney cleared his throat. "So what's got you looking so solemn?"

She took a long sip of her scotch and savored the feeling as it slid down her throat and into the pit of her belly.

"I dumped Matt," Robin answered.

"Why?" Barney asked.

She wished she could give him the answer she wanted to.

"Oh, you know. The usual things. He was a nice guy. I didn't want to lead him on."

"Ah," Barney replied. "You don't want to be tied down. I know how you are with commitment."

"Yeah. It wasn't going to work with him. But…I don't know. Never mind. It's stupid."

"What? Tell me," he requested with a smile.

Robin took another sip of her scotch. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind so much doing the whole commitment thing if it was with the right person."

Barney cocked an eyebrow.

She shook her head and continued, "I sound like Ted. Ugh. But, um…I just…I feel like I'm finally at a point in my life where I could see myself sticking with one person, you know? If they were the right one."

It took every ounce of her willpower not to tell Barney that she wanted it to be him.

"That's not stupid, Scherbatsky. Now you have to promise never to tell Ted this or I will never live it down, but…I get it. After everything that's happened this year with my dad, sometimes I think I might want that someday. Sometimes."

"Sometimes," Robin agreed.

They both sipped their drinks.

"When did we both grow up?" Robin asked.

Barney laughed. "I don't know. I was just wondering the same thing."

"Not long ago at this time of night, you'd be hitting on every bimbo in this bar."

"Now, now, don't get me wrong," said Barney. "I still love bimbos. Very much so. Bimbos mean a lot to me. But sometimes I think I could want something more than bimbos."

"Is that why you're with Nora?" Robin asked, afraid she didn't want to know the answer.

He shrugged. "Sort of. She's the first woman I've liked in a serious way since, well…you. So yeah, I've been giving it a try. But I haven't really figured out if it's  _her_  I want something more with."

Robin's breath caught in her throat, and she said a silent prayer that her face wasn't giving away her emotions.

She cleared her throat and finished her scotch, tearing her gaze away from Barney's.

"Anyway," Robin started, "I think that's enough Tedding out for one night, don't you think?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I do."

She tried not to read too much in the look he was giving her.

"I'm gonna head home," said Robin.

Barney finished his scotch and nodded. "Me too. I'll see you around."

Robin turned to leave.

He grabbed her elbow. "Hey, Robin?"

"Yeah, Barney?"

"Keep your chin up."

She gave him a sad smile and went upstairs.

 


	3. Part Three

**Part Three**

Robin was sad.

It was a strange feeling.

One of Robin's best abilities was the skill of actively avoiding and ignoring her feelings. She knew it was perhaps an unhealthy skill to have, but she was great at it, and it worked for her. The problem with that, however, is that you can't avoid feelings forever. So when they caught up with Robin, they caught up with her hard and fast.

Now that she didn't have the distraction of Matt to keep her from thinking about things, she was sad.

And in need of ice cream. And maybe beer.

She wandered over to the fridge and grabbed a half-eated carton of vanilla ice cream and a cold beer. Robin sat down on the couch and put on the television. She stared at it aimlessly and dumped the contents of the beer into her ice cream.

Ted walked into the room and eyed her creation.

"That looks disgusting. Did you put beer in ice cream?"

Robin gave him a scathing look. "Yes. And it is delicious. Think of it like a root beer float. Just, you know, minus the root."

Ted shook his head. "You need the root. Ew. Why are you eating that anyway? You only that much eat ice cream when you're sad."

She shrugged. "I'm fine."

"You're watching an infomercial. You're not fine. Is it work?"

Robin shook her head, and Ted sat down next to her on the couch.

"Work is fine," she answered, eating a spoonful of beer-soaked ice cream.

"Okay…well, it can't be your family, otherwise you'd be pissed instead of sad, and I don't see your gun anywhere. So…love life?"

Her eyes narrowed.

Ted nodded. "Hit the nail on the head, did I?"

"No," Robin answered mutinously.

"Defensive much?"

"Fine, whatever. Love is stupid."

"Is this about that guy Matt?" Disdain dripped from Ted's voice just saying his name.

"Yeah. That is absolutely what it is. I'm just sad over the break-up," she answered with a giggle.

"You're laughing, so that's obviously not true."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever. It's not Matt. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Is there someone new in your life?" Ted asked.

She took a bite of ice cream. "Not exactly."

Ted cocked a brow. "Robin, are making a re-return? I'm shocked. You never date the same guy twice."

"I'm not re-returning," she replied. "A re-return takes both parties," she mumbled.

"Oh wow, you really do want to make a re-return. Who with? Because if it's me, I'm very flattered, but…"

She hit him with her spoon.

"Ow!" Ted exclaimed.

"You'll live," she responded shortly.

"If not me, then who? Is Don back from Chicago?"

"Ugh. No. I would never go down that road again."

"Okay, if it's not Don, then… _oh my god._  It isn't who I think it is?"

Robin ate her ice cream in silence.

"It's Barney, isn't it?"

She ate more ice cream and said nothing.

"It totally is! Wow, Robin, let me say, I did not see that one coming. I mean, you guys ended so badly."

Robin sighed. "I know this."

"Well, I know just as well as you that you can't help how you feel about someone. You want him back?"

"Does it matter? He's not available, anyway."

Ted grabbed the ice cream from her and gave it a try. "This is disgusting."

She rolled her eyes and took it back from him. "I like it."

"You're crazy. That is gross. And you're also crazy if you think Nora has anything on you. Or if you think he loves her like he loved you. I watched him pine over you for months. He's not like that about Nora. He's only ever been like that with you."

"He's happy with her. I don't want to screw that up. I should just let them be."

"Do you think you could be happy with Barney?" he asked.

Robin bit her lip. "Yeah…yeah, I do."

"And Barney would be happy with you. When you're not moping and eating nasty beer ice cream. The Robin I know isn't someone who just gives up. You don't resign yourself to your fate. The Robin I know is a fighter. Why don't you fight for him?"

She didn't know what to say. What was she doing, sitting around pining? That wasn't who she was. Ted was right for once. If she was going to get what she wanted, she would have to fight for it.

"You're right."

It was all she said.

"I know." Ted smiled and took the ice cream away from her.

She thought better of protesting when he threw it in the trash can.

Robin stood up and headed towards the bathroom for a shower. She stopped in the doorway. "Hey, Ted?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

A hot shower helped wash the day away and bring some clarity to Robin. She came to the conclusion that she needed to pay Barney a visit. Thankfully, she knew for a fact that Nora was out of town on assignment for the next few days, so she wouldn't be at Barney's place if she were to drop by.

Robin toweled herself dry and slipped into a tight black dress. It was casual, but it certainly showed off what she wanted to accent.

If she was going to do this, she was going to do this right.

She fixed her hair and make-up and emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later looking damn good, if she did say so herself.

"Damn," Ted said, eyeing her from the kitchen. "You clean up nice."

Robin grinned. "I know."

"So I take it you're going to go fight the good fight?"

She nodded and grabbed her purse.

"Good luck," he told her.

"Thanks," she replied and walked out the door.

Robin was at Barney's door within thirty minutes, and she had been mentally preparing a speech in her mind all the way there. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Barney answered a moment later. "Scherbatsky? This is a surprise." He ushered her into his apartment. "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay," Barney replied. "Shoot."

"Here's the thing," she began. "I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I don't take things lying down. And I have been, which is a problem, and I'm not going to do it anymore because that's not me. That's not Robin Scherbatsky. I fight. I've always been a fighter. So I have to tell you something. I know that you're in a relationship. And if you're truly happy with Nora, then I'll be happy for you. But if you're not, and if you've decided that she's  _not_  the person you want something more with, you need to know that I'm in love with you."

Barney's eyes widened.

Robin kept going. "And you need to know that I want to be with you, Barney. I'm not just going to stand idly by and watch you be in a relationship with another woman without telling you. I'm putting up a fight. If you don't want me…" her voice broke. She swallowed and continued, "Then I get it, and we can be friends like we always have been. We'll pretend this never happened. But if you do want me, you need to know that I want to be with you. I want that something more with you. And it isn't for nostalgia's sake. I'm not getting caught up in the past. I don't want the past. Our past relationship sucked. But it won't be like that this time because I'm ready for it. And so are you. And, um…that's what I'm here to say."

Barney gaped at her in silence.

She had been expecting either a positive reaction or a negative reaction. Not a complete lack of reaction.

Robin cleared her throat.

Barney remained quiet.

"Right then," Robin spluttered. "I'm…uh…I'm just gonna go."

She showed herself out the door.


	4. Part Four

**Part Four**

It was late when Robin pounded on Lily and Marshall's door until Marshall opened it with an annoyed look.

"Robin? What are you doing here?"

He ushered her in.

"I was kind of hoping to talk to Lily."

"I'll go get her. Help yourself to a beer, if you want…you look like you could use one."

She gave him a wry smile and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. Lily came out of the bedroom moments later and met her on the couch.

"What's going on, sweetie?" Lily asked.

"I did something stupid," Robin replied.

"How stupid are we talking?"

"Literally one of the stupidest things I've ever done."

Lily frowned. "Are you pregnant with Matt's baby? Did you pick up a stranger and get an STD? Did you accidentally shoot sombody at the shooting range? Did you-"

Robin cut her off. "I told Barney how I feel!"

"Oh. That's all? You didn't kill anyone or get Chlamydia?"

"No! Geez, Lily. Why are those your go-to options?"

She shrugged. "Okay, so you told Barney how you feel. Why is that something stupid? It sounds more like something smart to me."

Robin shook her head. "No, no, it was definitely stupid."

"I take it he didn't react well?"

Robin took a large gulp of her beer. "He didn't react at all! If he had said he didn't want to be with me or he wasn't in love with me or  _something_  like that, I'd be okay. If he had just simply turned me down, at least I would have something to work with! But no, he doesn't say anything. He didn't respond at all. He just stood there with a stupid look on his face and said nothing. Like he couldn't be bothered. Like I didn't matter at all. So yeah, it was stupid. It was really stupid."

"I'm sure that's not it, sweetie. I know you mean a lot to him. Do you think maybe he was just shocked?"

Robin drank her beer and shrugged helplessly.

Lily continued, "I'm guessing he was just surprised. I mean, he could have handled things better and actually  _talked_  to you, but you guys have never been particularly good at communication. Maybe he was just too shocked to figure out what to say?"

"It's possible, I guess. I don't know…I mean, it took a lot for me to say all that to him. And to get no response at all?"

Robin heaved a sigh and finished off her beer.

"What exactly did you tell him, anyway?" Lily asked.

Robin picked at the label on her beer bottle nervously. "Oh, um. Just…stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Stuff," Robin confirmed.

"What kind of stuff?"

"You know…iloveyouandwanttobewithyou…kind of stuff."

Lily gave her a puzzled look at the jumbled words. "So you told him that you loved him and wanted to be with him?"

Robin tore the label off her beer bottle and refused to look Lily in the eye. "That is the truth fact."

Lily grabbed the beer bottle from her.

She played with the hem of her dress instead.

"Robin, I'm proud of you."

Finally, Robin met Lily's eyes.

Lily continued, "At least you told him. You went out and did what you could. And you actually  _talked_  to him. There was no way in hell you could have told him anything like that last time around. You're  _growing_. It's good. Go with it."

"I don't like growing if it ends like this."

Lily leaned forward and hugged her. "Maybe it's not over."

A voice shouted from another room, "I'm sure it's not!"

Robin shouted back, "Marshall, stop listening!"

He walked into the room. "You know Lily was going to tell me everything the minute you left anyway."

Robin gave Lily a dirty look.

Lily tried her best to look guilty. "He has a point, though."

"Just give him a chance," Marshall said. "I bet he was just shocked, like Lily said."

"Maybe," Robin muttered and stood up.

She shot Marshall a look. "Don't tell him we talked about this."

"I won't."

She thanked them for the beer and went home.

* * *

Robin spent the next three days actively avoiding Barney.

She didn't go to the bar. She screened his calls. She pretended she was sick.

Everyone knew otherwise. She didn't really care.

On day four, she went down to the bar after a text from Lily that claimed Barney wasn't there.

Lily had been lying.

After glimpsing him at the booth from the doorway, Robin went back upstairs.

She knew she was probably being immature. She really did. But she was angry and uncomfortable and embarrassed that for once in her life she had poured her heart out and actually taken a risk that came back to slap her in the face in the form of an awkward silence.

But Robin was well-aware her avoidance of Barney couldn't last forever. She missed the rest of the group, and if she were being honest with herself, she missed Barney. So one week after the incident, she headed down to the bar, clad in a new, comfortable dress she'd bought and did her best to feel ready.

Barney wasn't there yet, but there was no doubt in her mind he would be along soon.

The group greeted her with enthusiasm, and she brushed off their antics and bought herself a scotch.

Just as she sat down at the booth, Barney walked into the bar.

She took a deep breath and downed her drink.

Barney smiled when he saw her, and Robin did her best not to make eye contact.

He pulled up a chair and sat down at the booth with the rest of the group.

They all chatted casually for a while, and Barney and Robin never spoke directly to each other. But it would seem the rest of the group didn't like that because one by one, they all made excuses to leave, trying to get Robin and Barney alone together to talk.

It was just the pair of them then, both nursing scotches quietly.

"You've been avoiding me for a while," Barney said, breaking the silence.

"That I have. Very observant."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Robin."

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him.

"But I want to tell you-"

She cut him off, "Don't want to talk about it."

"Robin, please, I just-"

"Barney!" She slammed her glass on the table. "I don't want to talk about it!"

He frowned and spoke softly, "Please, Robin."

She shook her head and stood up. Robin looked towards the exit. Some guy was blocking it, chatting up a nearby girl. She glanced towards the back door.

"See you later, Barney."

Robin passed by the bar and left through the back door that led into the alley.

She took just a moment to lean against the wall and breathe.

Apparently, she'd taken a moment too long. Barney came out the door just after her.

Robin let out a noise of frustration.

She turned on him. "What? What do you so desperately need to tell me, Barney? What is it?"

"I broke up with Nora."

Robin was stunned into silence. That had been just about the last thing she had been expecting to come out of his mouth.

She gaped at him. "Oh."

"Oh? That's all I get?"

She shot him a look. "You're one to talk."

"You're right. I'm sorry about that. Really. I was caught off guard. I just didn't expect you to feel that way about me. I never have. I mean, I know we dated, but…I was always kind of afraid things were one-sided. So it came as a bit of shock, and I'm sorry I reacted so badly."

Robin looked at the ground. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I was…embarrassed."

"Scherbatsky! You don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Plenty of women love the Barnacle. I'm a very lovable person."

"Shut up, Barney."

He did. For a moment.

Barney took a tentative step towards her.

Robin spoke, "So you broke up with Nora, huh? Why, um…why exactly did you do that?"

He took another step towards her and cleared his throat.

"Because I'm in love with you."

Somehow, Robin hadn't seen this coming.

"You're in love with me?"

"Yeah, I am. And I want to be with you, too, if that's still what you want."

She took a step closer to him, grabbed his tie, and dragged him towards her.

Barney continued, "Is that a yes, or-"

He was cut off with a kiss. There was a sharp intake of breath on Barney's part, and then he sunk into Robin's lips, capturing them with a finesse that only he could seem to manage. He backed the pair of them up against the wall and planted his lips firmly on Robin's neck. She let out a tiny, barely-restrained sound of pleasure, and Barney grinned against her skin.

"You know," Barney started breathlessly between kisses, "It's kind of funny that we're doing this here."

Robin gasped as he reached under her dress and trailed his hand upward.

"I don't know, we've done it some pretty weird places. I'm not sure in the alley of MacLaren's is that weird for us…"

Barney palmed her breast and chuckled to himself.

"It's not really about how weird the location is. Three years ago when you and Ted were hooking up-"

Robin cut him off, "Do you really want to talk about Ted right now? Because I was kind of hoping we were in the middle of something here."

Barney continued, "Three years ago when you and Ted were hooking up, I was incredibly jealous but trying not to show it. Yet Ted kept bragging to me about all the sex you two were having, and I had to try and act unaffected. So I would excuse myself and come out here and smash TVs."

Robin laughed. "That sounds healthy."

"Hush."

He slipped a hand inside her panties, and she did just that.

But only for a moment. The gasps and moans could only be contained for so long.

All remaining composure left Robin when Barney dragged a lazy finger exactly where she wanted it.

She reached for Barney's belt and undid the buckle swiftly.

Robin hiked her dress up around her waist, and Barney fished in his pocket for a condom.

Moments later, he was pushing her underwear to the side and thrusting inside her because all of a sudden it felt like there was just no time _._

It was desperate and fast and half-clothed, and Robin hiked one leg around Barney's waist. Both of them made noises that could not seem to be contained, and they matched each other thrust for thrust in a frantic rhythm.

It wasn't long before Robin felt a familiar tightening in the pit of her belly and cried out, sinking her fingernails into Barney's back through his shirt. He let out a long moan just after, following in kind. The pair stood, leaning up against the wall together, completely spent.

They adjusted their clothes, and Barney re-buckled his pants.

After catching his breath, he said, "While I would be more than happy to simply continue having sex with you all the time…are we going to do this? The whole relationship thing, I mean. Because I'm in if you're in."

"Do you want to? I know we've both talked about wanting something more, but are you sure? Because I really need you to be sure, Barney."

He kissed her just below the ear.

"I'm sure," he breathed on her neck.

"Okay," said Robin. "I'm in."

Barney beamed and kissed her again with enthusiasm.


	5. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_A little ways down the road…_

"Best man?" Lily stepped out of the church for a moment. "You're being summoned."

"Geez, what now?" Ted muttered towards Marshall.

"Ted, seriously, relax," Marshall replied. "Everything's fine-"

The rain that suddenly began falling from the sky cut him off.

Marshall continued after a moment, "Okay, it's raining."

"Yeah," Ted replied in frustration, and the pair stood up. "You were saying?"

"You didn't happen to bring an umbrella did you?" Marshall asked.

"No," Ted replied. "I didn't bring an umbrella."

They headed inside.

Ted continued, "I just wish I knew where I left mine."

He headed down the hall and made his way to the room Barney was getting ready in.

"I heard the groom needed me?"

Barney came into view. "What do you think of this tie?"

"It's fine, man. You look great. Robin will love it."

Marshall stepped inside the room.

"She always has been a fan of my ties," said Barney.

"Do I even want to know?" Ted asked.

Barney grinned. "Probably not. Though I do have many stories I could tell you…"

"No!" Ted exclaimed. "No need. While I am incredibly happy for the both of you, I have heard enough through the thin walls of the apartment over the years. I don't need to hear any more about your sex life with my ex-girlfriend."

Barney frowned. "Your ex-girlfriend," he said ponderously. "Who I am marrying."

Marshall spoke up, "Uh oh."

"This is such a violation of the Bro Code," said Barney. "Should I be doing this? What am I doing?"

Panic seeped into his voice. "Oh my god, I've got to get out of here. This was an awful idea. What am I doing?"

He loosened his tie, which was feeling painfully tight all of a sudden.

Marshall walked up to him, narrowed his eyes, and slapped him across the face.

Barney fell to the ground.

Marshall barely held back a smile.

"That's five."

He paused, then continued.

"Barney, you love Robin."

The shocked groom slowly came to a stand, clutching his cheek, and nodded.

Ted followed up, "You guys have been together for a year and a half and in love for even longer. You want this. You're ready for this."

Marshall continued, "Can you really imagine  _not_  being with Robin after all this?"

Barney shook his head. "No, I can't. Of course I can't. It's  _Robin_."

He said her name like it was the most important word in world.

He looked at Marshall, still clutching his cheek. "My face hurts."

"You're welcome," Marshall replied.

Barney tried to smile, but the fresh sting in his cheek prevented it. Instead, he grimaced.

Ted spoke, "You're going to be fine. In fact, you're going to be awesome."

Barney readjusted his tie. "Ted, my boy, you're right. It is going to be awesome. In fact, I would even say it is going to be  _legendary._  Robin and I are going to revolutionize marriage!"

Marshall patted him on the back. Barney flinched.

"Sure you are, buddy," said Marshall.

Ted began, "I should go check on Robin. Being the best man to  _both_  of you isn't the easiest task, you know. It's twice the responsibility. So thanks for that."

Barney replied, "No problem, bro."

* * *

"Lily, what the hell am I doing getting married?"

Robin's freak out had officially begun.

"Here we go," the redhead muttered under her breath.

"I don't even believe in marriage! What am I doing? I don't want to settle down!"

"Sweetie, relax. It's going to be just fine. And it's  _Barney_. Do you really think that if you get married you're going to be settling down?"

Robin took a deep breath and smoothed down the material of her dress with the palms of her hands. "No, I guess not."

"Exactly," Lily persisted. "A marriage is what you make of it. Just because you and Barney are getting married doesn't mean you guys are going to stop playing your sex games or whatever it is you do. Do you play sex games? If so, what kind of sex games do you play?"

Lily suddenly looked incredibly interested.

Robin pursed her lips. "Can we talk about my sexcapades later? You're supposed to be talking me down here, Lil."

"Right. You're going to be fine, Robin. You want to be with Barney, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then that's all you need to know."

Robin nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.

Ted walked in. "What did I miss?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Some best man you are. I was talking Robin down from her pre-wedding jitters."

"I was busy doing the same thing with Barney!" Ted exclaimed.

"Barney was panicking?" Robin asked quietly.

"Of course he was," Ted explained. "You two are practically the same person."

Robin tilted her head to the side. "Fair point. But…he's okay now, right?"

Ted smiled gently. "He's fine."

He saw the hesitation on Robin's face and continued, "He loves you. You don't have anything to worry about. He wants this just as much as I know you do."

Robin smiled.

Ted continued, "You look beautiful, by the way."

She pulled him into a quick hug. "Thanks, Ted."

"Now get out of here," Lily insisted. "We need to touch up Robin's make-up."

* * *

The ceremony itself was small and quaint. Robin was not the kind of person that dreamed of a huge wedding as a little girl. She had let Lily take the reins in terms of planning after giving her a few guidelines. Sam Gibbs, James' father, was marrying them, and all of their family was there, much to Robin's dismay. She had considered not inviting her father, but her mother had insisted. She was still surprised that after years of treating her like a boy, her father wanted to walk her down the aisle. He hadn't given her any words of encouragement, congratulated her, or gotten her a wedding gift (unless the cigar he silently handed her in greeting the night before counted), but at least he was there.

Robin's mother was making a fuss over every little thing, flouncing about and worrying over insignificant details. Robin tried her best to give her menial tasks throughout the day to help her feel productive and to get her out of Robin's hair.

As Robin walked down the aisle, she contemplated exactly how she had gotten there.

Barney's proposal had been simple.

They'd finally gotten their shit together a year before (and had dirty, hot sex in the alley behind MacLaren's in the process) and had been going strong ever since. They were in bed when it happened, naked and basking in the afterglow of some particularly good sex. Robin had her head propped up on the pillow that Barney had finally caved and bought her for his apartment when she had agreed to move in with him a couple months before. He was staring at her with a look in his eye that Robin had only glimpsed on a few occasions previously – in the hospital after his bus accident, in her bedroom when they decided to be a couple the first time around, and during the conversation they had at the bar about wanting 'something more.' He was giving her that looks again, and she flashed him a confused smile.

"What?" she asked.

"Marry me." The words seemed to spill out of his mouth.

"WHAT?" Robin shouted, sitting up. The sheet that was covering her naked chest fell, and Barney grinned as he took in the view.

"Marry me," Barney repeated evenly.

Robin snatched her tank top off the floor and pulled it over her head.

"That's crazy, Barney."

"Is it?" he questioned. "It doesn't seem crazy to me. I think it actually makes a lot of sense."

"Of course it's crazy," Robin countered. "We can't get married. I mean…we don't even believe in marriage."

"Yes, we do. We didn't before, sure, but you know it would be different with us. Nothing huge would change. We would stay our usual awesome selves. We would still go to the cigar bar and bang in inappropriate and often public places. We would just happen to be married when we did them. You don't even have to wear a ring if you don't want to. Just marry me, Scherbatsky."

Robin had simply smiled and whispered an "okay" in response before jumping his bones.

She later decided that she wouldn't mind so much wearing a ring, as long as he did too.

Images of Barney's proposal flashed through Robin's head as she walked down the aisle, eyeing her soon-to-be-husband with a fond smile. She could see the barely contained glee on Barney's face and any residual panic left her immediately.

Her father patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and let her go, but Robin paid him no mind. She arrived next to Barney and smoothed down her dress.

Barney whispered, "You look hot, Scherbatsky."

Robin rolled her eyes but couldn't quite keep the grin from forming on her face.

"You're an idiot," she whispered back.

He beamed and replied. "Love you, too."

"Is that a hand print on your face?"

"It's a long story."

Sam Gibbs started speaking, and Robin didn't really hear the words. The ceremony passed in a blur, and they exchanged traditional vows (because really, neither of them was that much with the words, and Robin didn't think, "We have awesome sex so let's be together forever" was going to please anyone in attendance).

Suddenly they were saying their "I do's" and Barney was being told to kiss the bride.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "This is going to be legendary," and captured her lips in a long kiss.

* * *

The reception was small, and Robin and Barney had sex in the bathroom twice.

Ted spent most of the time with Barney's half-sister Carly, who had apparently approached him because he bore a resemblance to an idiot economics professor she'd had for all of seven minutes once.

Barney had been a little disturbed to see them hitting it off so well, but Robin was just glad that Carly's familiar looking yellow umbrella had saved her from the rain after they left the church to go to the reception.

Ted spent most of the evening with Carly, and any moment away from her he spent chatting Robin's ear off about how perfect and wonderful she was, to which Robin could only roll her eyes.

Marshall and Lily spent most of their time saying "aww" at every little thing the newlyweds did, though Robin could not for the life of her figure out why. They were acting no different than usual, but according to Lily, everything was just so much cuter now that they were married.

They were announced for the first dance as husband and wife – terms Robin wasn't sure she'd ever quite get used to hearing – and headed to the dance floor. Mid-dance, Barney pulled her against him for a quick kiss. After they separated, Barney gazed at her with the same expression from the night he proposed. He whispered two words with a bright smile.

"Challenge completed."


End file.
